Top 5 Valentine’s Day faux pas to avoid

We women understand that just the thought of February 14 has the power to inspire pure panic in most men. We get it -- Valentine's Day is the one 24-hour period when the likelihood of a potential misstep that negates all the work you've put in trying to think up "sensitive" questions to ask us and pretend you're not a mouth breather increases exponentially.

While we appreciate that expectations run high around this time every year, believe us when we say that guys make it harder than it has to be. High-maintenance ladies aside (because, frankly, it's your fault if you're with a girl who will accept nothing less than a gourmet meal made from scratch and a marriage proposal), most of us will be happy if you can just manage to not to break these 5 very simple rules of thumb.

1. Make plans -- "I couldn't get a table" isn't going to cut it on V-Day, fellas. Set an Outlook reminder, have a buddy call you or staple a sticky note to your head, but no matter what you do, you better think up something fun and take steps ahead of time to make it happen.
2. Put forth some effort -- No one says you need to show up at the door with diamonds, but don't come empty-handed. Almost any flowers will do. Ditto chocolates, jewelry or even a thoughtful card if you're hurtin' for cash. Just don't let it be a present for you disguised as a present for her. (We always know.)
3. Pick up the check -- It may be old school, but on Valentine's Day, you pay. End of story. And don't brag about your chivalry (hint: that makes it less than chivalrous) or whine about the price. Making her feel guilty for ordering dessert is not sexy.
4. Dress up -- Whatever that means for you. If you normally show up for dates in your thrifting t-shirt and "holy" jeans, finding a pair that doesn't show off your crack and adding a button-down will probably floor her. Taking a little extra care with your grooming ritual tells your lady this night is special.
5. Don't forget -- Call it harsh, but this is grounds for immediate dismissal. Mainly because it proves you're an idiot who doesn't have a calendar and doesn't care about his effect on other people, including the allegedly memorable girl in your life. Flat out forgetting is poor form, and we know your mama raised you better.

There are definitely a few other big no-nos that didn't make the short list -- like not giving her your full attention and getting caught with V-Day gifts for your ex -- but we wanted to keep it simple. Follow these 5 steps and you're guaranteed to have a fairly smooth Valentine's Day 2010.