Thanksgiving Showdown

Ahh, Thanksgiving -- a time of celebration, fun and family. Now, the question is: Just how much of that family do you want your lady to meet (and vice versa)?

Here are some key indicators. You're hanging out after getting back to your place, and she turns to you to discuss ...

Your father's table manners

The scene: After the second course, Dad steps on a family of ducks while sitting on a giant bullfrog.

• Good sign: She says it was "hilarious how your dad just let it rip."
• Bad sign: She frowns and asks if he does that all the time.

Mass food consumption

The scene: Even grandma pops the top button of her jeans to allow for additional room, and you haven't even gotten to the main course.

• Good sign: She joins the fun, shucks her belt and gets in a yam-eating contest with Uncle Bruno.
• Bad sign: She carefully chooses her portions based on the number of miles she'll have to run tomorrow to ward off the extra weight, then picks at her plate and totally skips courses three and four.

Overt displays of laziness

The scene: After the pregame show, you guys eat lunch and then only halfway stay awake during the game, until dinner rolls around and the eat/watch ritual is repeated.

• Good sign: She's pissed that you guys showed up late and missed John Madden's turducken presentation, but is relieved you brought an inflatable bed for the middle of the living room, lest you have to enjoy the game from the floor.
• Bad sign: She questions your family's hygiene and wonders aloud how much longer Aunt Betty can keep breathing while snoring like a truck.

All things considered, I recommend bringing your girl along, unless you guys just started dating and you suspect she might not approve of ole pops "tooting his own horn," so to speak. If she flips out about your family's antics, there's a good chance you can count on a future of Sundays without football, sweater vests and hosting crafting parties (i.e, run now). If she finds the quirks adorable in a Snuggie-on-a-dog kind of way, you might just have found your soul mate.