What's in a Profile?

What you say in your online profile is arguably the most important aspect -- not to mention the determining factor -- of your online dating experience. A profile is supposed to communicate who (and how hot) you are, give potential dates a taste of your stunning personality, let people know important things about you and indicate the basics about who you're looking for.

Everyone knows the pictures come first. (Anyone who says they don't is lying. After all, what good is a relationship without physical attraction?) But the written portion of the exam is almost as significant. Once you've established that the person is decently attractive, you want to know if they're also smart, outgoing, funny and possessive of all those other qualities you look for in the perfect date.

For these reasons, I continue to be floored by people who pay for an online dating membership but can't be bothered to find a pic of themselves to slap up there, or who don't take the time to write more than a few sentences - or both. Apparently, there are quite a few Web-savvy singles in need of a lesson on the dos and don'ts of profile creation. Here are a few quick and dirty guidelines:

• Always include at least one picture of yourself --And a relatively recent one, please. No candid shots from middle school band need apply.
• Do your best writing -- You don't have to be Mark Twain, but at least give it a shot. When you don't care, it shows, and no one wants to date a slacker.
• Don't lie - C'mon, folks. Isn't finding someone to care about hard enough without introducing deception into the mix? Whether you're a few pounds overweight, currently unemployed, obsessed with your 7 cats or have some other horrible secret, it's going to come out eventually. You might as well find someone who knows (and loves) you for it!
• Be direct - While there is such a thing as too much information, err on the side of stating what you want as openly as possible. If you're looking to get married within the year, saying so will help weed out the commitment-phobes. If you already have two kids and never want to hear the word "pregnant" ever again, being honest about it will help you find someone who's in the same boat.
• Don't be rude - Rejection is never easy, even online, but there's no justification for being rude. Just like in real life, if someone isn't into you, it's better to suffer the news gracefully and move on to find someone who is. Taking it personally, sending offensive emails and/or refusing to take "no" for an answer are the best ways to earn yourself a bad reputation (as well as possibly being banned from the site).