The Perils of Playing House

It's a classic dating mistake: You meet someone new, you get excited about him and then you proceed to promise each other the moon, spend every waking moment together and ignore all obligations and responsibilities (read: your friends and family).

Which of us hasn't done it … and which of us hasn't been incredibly embarrassed a few months later when it turns out the loser can't commit and we've hurt and alienated everyone who really cares about us?

I don't mean to offend – and Lord knows men do it too – but women are particularly susceptible to the desire to nest. There's just something about being happy and in the presence of testosterone that makes us … well, crazy. And because we know this about ourselves -- and because we must learn to break the cycle if we're ever going to have a healthy relationship -- it's up to us to formulate a master plan aimed at preventing the onset of this particular flavor of insanity. Here's how:

1. Take pre-emptive action -- You know for sure you'll want to spend too much time with your new flame, so take steps to make sure you simply can't. Make a standing date with your BFF every Tuesday, ask your gym buddy to meet you at the machines every Thursday and commit to book clubs, potlucks, babysitting and anything else that will force you to be away from the object of your desire for more than just a few hours at a time.   
2. Ask your friends to keep you honest – Your friends are one of the best resources you have, so use them. Tell them you know you're going to try to play house with the new boy, and ask them to hold you accountable for not breaking plans, force you to do what you said you'd do and admit when it's clear you've been wallowing in your addiction to male attention.
3. Know yourself – No one but you, not even the super-fantastic-ridiculously-sexy-and-amazing man of your dreams, can make good decisions about what you need to be healthy and happy. Sit down and figure out how much alone time, outings with friends, evenings with family and nights with no one around but the TV you're going to need. If you find yourself getting snappy with Mr. Wonderful or silently plotting to duct tape his lips together as soon as he falls asleep, it's a safe bet that you need more space.
4. Lay down some ground rules -- One of the most important things you can do is talk to your new man. Get his buy-in on how much time you want to spend together, and make sure you're on the same page about how much independence you both need in order to stay sane. Setting expectations early on makes sticking to them later a lot easier.
5. Go Slow -- There's a reason the happiest couples often start as friends: It's because love takes time to grow. And as cliché as that sounds, the corniness doesn't make it any less true. Ask yourself if things are moving too fast, if you're being true to yourself and your values, if you're out of your comfort zone. (Hint: If you're introducing him to your parents after two weeks, you probably need to take a breather.) Then get back there as quickly as possible!