Dating Commandment No. 1

There are tons of things to remember now that you've decided you're officially on the prowl: Make sure to get your money's worth out of that gym membership, bring out your old button-up shirts because plaid is back in style, go out and have fun with your buddies regularly and drink plenty of water. The list goes on and on.

There's one thing, however, that seems obvious and yet is one of the easiest to neglect: Lay back and relax. That's right -- this is the single piece of advice that gets ignored the most. And we're not talking about literally laying back. This is a time for action, a time for preening and having fun. The relaxing we're referring to is the calm mental attitude needed to successfully find the right match.

How many times have you found yourself freaking out about what the object of your affection is really thinking? How many hours have you spent trying to decipher their actions, reading into every single one? How many times have you replayed a certain moment or conversation in your head, studying it like a scientist studies a lab rat? Quit! Quit that right now.

It may seem easier said than done at first, but it's so important to trust yourself and stop stressing out. Here are some things to remember:

1.      You don't know -- and will never know -- what he or she is thinking.

So quit worrying about it. Unless your name starts with "Madame" and you come equipped with a crystal ball, you have no idea what is going through a person's mind unless they tell you. More importantly, because you're no psychic, you're probably wrong. How could you possibly be spot-on about a person's inner-most thoughts? Rely on actual communication and, of course, body language and nuances. But don't overdo it. The more you stress out, the more your confidence will suffer -- and, in the end, confidence is the most important thing.

2.      You don't know -- and will never know -- what he or she is up to.

You called and left a message on their cell phone two days ago and still no reply. This sends your brain into a frenzy. Are they not interested anymore? Are they avoiding you? Did they find someone else? If you're sitting there trying to come up with all the things they could possibly be doing instead of calling you, why don't you try this: Come up with 10 possible reasons they haven't called. Now come up with 10 more. And then another10. By now, you're probably starting to see how useless this is. Truth is, there are an infinite number of possibilities, and speculating will get you nowhere fast. Sit back, relax and let them get back to you. Pay attention to the behavioral patterns that person establishes -- the bigger picture -- and don't sweat the small stuff.

3.      Patience looks good on you.

No one wants to date a worry wart. Or at least not at first -- there'll be time for that later on in the relationship. What you need to do is be calm and collected and let the other person bask in your patient demeanor. Observation is key in the initial stage of a relationship, and if you give it just enough time, you'll get all the answers you need to help you decide if you've found the right one or if it's time to move on.

Life can be pretty hectic, so try not to let dating add to the strain. Focus on the fun and excitement that dating entails. And remember that you only have control over yourself and your own actions, so don't give yourself a headache by worrying so much about what's going on on the other side. You can't really do anything about it anyhow, right? So relax! Be confident and enjoy yourself!