When Jealousy Rages Like a California Brush Fire

Observations from the front line

Girls can be so jealous. Don't believe me? Keep an eye out for it next time you're at a party, park, bar or game.

It's not just the crazy ones, either. Something the other day reminded me of when I first started dating my lady, how jealous she and my kinda-ex were.

I had been dating this girl very casually for a couple of weeks. No attachment, right? Well, come to find out that I was a rebound from a break up. After awhile, she decided she couldn't live without her ex. (He was a total knob, but that's another story.)

Me? After a couple of casual dates, I have no hard feelings, so I moved right along. Soon after that, I start dating my current lady. Now, kinda-ex starts throwing her mean looks, talking behind her back and otherwise pulling stunts that even a Hollywood writer couldn't dream up.

Not only that, but the current girl pesters me with, "What did you ever see in her" questions and snide, "She should really put some makeup on" comments. Both were hotties, but I digress. Two girls fighting over little, ole me! Now, I'm a pretty hot item, but come on. (OK, that's a lie, but I must have something going for me, right?) The point is, neither one had any reason to be jealous of the other, and yet here I am playing referee between a former and current (which would have been awesome, if we were talking mud wrestling rather than mud slinging).

So what makes girls so jealous? Is that the female counter to men's competitive ways? Who knows, but it's true. Just keep your eyes peeled and you'll see for yourself.


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  7 comments
1.
10/27/09 05:42:15

damaged people damage, it would seem. problem is, how to overcome the effects and hindrances. -- alan

2.
11/09/09 03:06:13

yea i agree i am dating a guy that is friends with everyone and i see that my friends think i am ditching them and they think that i don't like them anymore -- Natalie

3.
11/25/09 19:43:01

relationships can be total chaos!! -- natalie

4.
12/30/09 21:59:24

Dating a recently divorced guy who always complains about not having any money. Never takes me out anywhere other than a movie and a quick bite. Then expresses that it would be nice if I paid once and a while. Am I crazy, is this the norm? I also am recently divorced and from what I remember about dating, men had a little more class than that. Is this the new dating trend? I don't get it? -- JoAnn

5.
2/14/10 15:39:42

In my experiences, I find it is best for all parties to wait a minimum of three months before picking up another person. To me this is sending a signal to the ex that the time you shared together was special and significant. Also if you muster the strength to overcome this time period, it allows you to reflect on what happened, what went wrong, and how to improve. I also hate how girls are jealous and if you are too quick to jump the gun they automatically assume that (given you ended it) you left for the "other women". A wise friend once said, "don't touch a hot toaster, let it cool down first." -- VHongo

6.
3/13/10 00:14:53

Yes jonathan-its the difference between women and men. We both have our connections to evolution. And the connections kinda look like that. You were just lucky to be the man in the middle - I am sure they would have been catty with each other regardless of the man caught in the middle. But here's the ego buster - why are you hanging out with your ex AND your current "lady" as you put it? -- TheOnlineDater

7.
6/16/10 12:17:12

I have a question for your knowledgeable dating crew over there. I've dated many women but it seems no one woman is enough. I'm not trying to act studly, I'm just saying that dating at least two women at once seems to be my happy place. I've yet to meet a woman who loves to be adventurous, but also loves museums and musicals, who loves to roleplay, but isn't insane or in heavy debt. I just got out of a relationship with a girl who's nine years older then I am. she's perfect except she can't have kids and has loads of debt. That puts a damper on my family and travel plans. My question is: do you think it's possible to have a life long polygamous relationship with two women who you view as your partners and loves and have them not hate each other and you for it? Please tell me how can I make this work!? -- Zach

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