A Text is Not a Test

Texting has quickly become an incredibly popular form of communication, and it's easy to understand why. It is direct, no-nonsense, instantaneous, and it eliminates the awkward conversation-fillers that sometimes hinder the main point of a call and make you feel funny. It is fantastic to text. You don't have to prep yourself with a head full of witticisms, and you don't have to wait for the other person to pick up.

But just when you've become the Ultimate Texter Extraordinaire, with skills so sharp you could text with your eyelashes, you suddenly realize that it's not always smooth sailing. There's a whole other set of rules, a distinct texting protocol, and plenty of room for paranoia and horror -- just like with the more traditional forms of communication. Maybe you don't have to sit there nervously waiting for the sound of a person's voice on the other end, but you do have to sit there nervously waiting for the sound of a buzzing phone on a wooden desk.

Then there are the texts in the middle of the night and the issue of appropriate response timing, the length, the tone, to include smiley or not to include them ... You've found it, the dark underbelly of dating and texting. This is when you should remember: A text is not a test. Texting should feel simple, because it's meant to be simple.

Texting is not high-level communicating, so you shouldn't treat it as such. Paying too much attention to things like gaps between texts and looking for subliminal messages within the messages won't help you. It's also important to know when to text. If you're asking "Hey, what are you up to?" texting is ideal. If you're sending a text that says "Hey, what's up?" and you're looking for more than "Nothing much" as a response, then you should probably call.

It's also a good idea to use texting in combination with calling, not as a substitute for it. A person who never ever takes the time to call might come off as evasive or even aloof. Last but not least, if you do receive a text in the middle of the night, don't feel obligated to respond, but don't jump to conclusions either.