The Art of the Breakup

This is ridiculous, If you are an asshole the advice above would work for you. All other breakups should be face to face or on the phone at least. A text message breakuo is in very poor taste and disrespectful. -- MoonPAtrol

All that advice is a crock of crap. No wonder men get such a bad name! Just be gentle but truthful.... then walk away and keep away! DONT CALL HER and see if she is OK for at least 3-6 months. You want more for yourself so let her move on too. -- A dumpee...

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I think I have a method that beats all the above! And it's just happened to me. Was introduced to guy mid-Sept. He swept me off my feet: flowers, cooking me meals, long phone calls, lots of texts, sweet nothings etc etc. Within a month he dropped "I don't know what I want" into conversation. When asked about it he said it was his self-defence mechanism. Odd mention of how he didn't have much time for what he wanted to do. He also had health problems at beginning which I supported him with sorting out. Few more lovely weeks followed. We only saw each other couple of times a week. Then he said same thing again with same response when asked about it. Beginning of November we had weekend away - really lovely but I was aware he wasn't himself. Worried about his mother who was ill and needing lots more time spent on her. Then he said while away he thought whatever happened we'd always be friends. Was too afraid to start talking about this (plus we were away on special weekend!). Then two weeks after return he stopped phoning, texts became rare. Mid-Nov he came round again but with hindsight think he was very fidgety. His mum was quite poorly but things happen in life and I didn't believe this as reason for disappearance. He said his mum was priority. Virtually no contact by text/phone. On one rare occasion he said he valued our friendship. Said he couldn't make any plans due to his mum. Don't doubt he's been preoccupied, busy. No card at Christmas. Did tell him it was like being given beautiful gift and having it taken away. If I hadn't texted him and spoken to him on Christmas eve doubt I would have heard from him. He said he felt very mean....said he wanted us to be friends. I kept conversation light too fearful to probe any further. He wouldn't agree to seeing me over Christmas weekend even though I only suggested popping in on way to family. By New Year I decided I'd had enough and sent him polite text saying I didn't want any contact any more (which is probably what he wanted anyway). Am very angry as I feel he's hidden behind his mum's illness. Even though it was only short time together because I suffered suicide bereavement in Sept 08 of partner, this breakup hit me quite badly. Am ok now but find it totally unbelievable that a man can make promises for the future (we'd made plans for April!!) and then just decide to disappear. I am pragmatic about it all now as he had very negative attitude to things in life and that never does me any good but what do you think about method he used to dump me? Actually, I think he avoided the act of dumping as I got so fed up I pretty much did this myself! So he gets off scot free to tell his friends (possibly) what a wicked woman I am to do this to him when he mum is ill. C'est la vie. -- Linda

Cheating in any situation is NEVER acceptable. insta-cold shoulder is like hitting a brickwall on a highway, and this makes a dirty subject dirtier. -- VHongo