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Dating: A Guy’s Bare Essentials For Successful Dating
Must-have and -do list for your next date night
There are some absolute essentials that are required in preparation for a date. While we all know this stuff, we're guys, and it's always worth reminding ourselves of the basics so we can get the foundation right. Here's our quick list:
Bathe
Obvious, right? The worst thing you could do when going out on a date (especially if it is your first date with her) is to turn up unshaven, looking dirty and smelling bad. Women are clean and will judge you on how hygienic you are. Plus, no offense, but you would be appalled if she turned up for the date looking like a hippie that hadn't bathed for a while. It doesn't cost anything to take a bath and make an effort. Remember, bad breath and body odor are an instant turn off, and she will assume that this is how you are all the time. Even if you are just having a bad day or didn't think you have time to clean up, she won't see beyond your appearance, so you'll never get a second chance to impress her.
Arrive on Time
One of the worst things you can do is turn up late. Turning up late will give her the wrong impressions of what you think about her. Women always assume the worst, so she'll sit around considering the worst case scenarios when you're late. Not only will she think that she has been stood up, but will also think that you are unreliable. If you are picking her up from her home, then it is advisable to turn up 5 minute before you are due. But don't come any earlier or she will be adjusting her makeup or getting dressed and won't want you to see her half finished.
Be a Gentleman
Hold the door open for her. Let her walk through the door first. Pull out her chair. Be polite to her and the people around you. Women like to feel special, and by treating her like a lady she will think you are fantastic.
Compliment Her
The first thing to say to her is "you look beautiful" before you even ask how she is. Keep the compliments flowing throughout your date, such as "your hair looks nice, I like the color of it, and your outfit is great." But don't go overboard. A woman loves to be complimented because it makes her feel sexy, gorgeous and beautiful. She needs to feel you are attracted to her. So it shouldn't sound fake.
Listen to Her and Ask Questions
Nobody wants to spend the whole night listening to someone talk about themselves or being ignored. And you do have to get to know each other. So ask her questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. There is nothing woman likes more than when someone is interested in what they have to say.
I remember once I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for some friends. There was a man and woman sitting at the table next to mine and I couldn't help overhearing their conversation, though it isn't a conversation when only one person is talking. I could tell it was their first date from what he was telling her about himself. "I play Saturday league football, I like boxing..." He went on like this for about 10 minutes without stopping or asking her questions. She was just sitting there nodding slightly every so often and looking bored. That day left an impact on me, and every time I have been on a date since, I have been conscious of the woman, making a point to take an interest in what she had to say. This is probably the best bit of advice I could give.
Prepare
The last thing you want is to be sitting having a meal and the conversation dries up, leaving you bored with each other for the rest of the night. Think about your date and what you would like to know about her, and in return what you would like her to know about you. Try and think of any questions that she might ask you, so that you can prepare the answer. You think that it is easy to talk, and that you will not run out of questions to ask, or that you will automatically have the answers. But until you are there and in the situation, you have no idea what it will be like. You can avoid all of this by meeting for a quick drink, then go on to see a film, so you have something obvious to talk about.
Who Will Pay?
This is a really tough question since women are increasingly independent and may want to pay their way. I suggest that you offer to pay and, if she lets you, take care of the bill. If she wants to pay, you can argue that you want to, but make sure you pay for at least half no matter what.
The Goodnight Kiss
Some women prefer not to kiss after a date while others are disappointed if the guy doesn't even try. There is no easy answer to this. Wait until either she makes the first move or it's very obvious that you are both ready. Watch out for body language and little touches. And I would strongly advise against sex on the first date.
I'll Call You
Only tell her that you will call her if you mean it and intend on seeing her again. This is an awkward situation, and most of the time the easiest solution is to take her number and tell her you will call her. But don't do it if you are not interested. Just say good night, smile and walk away. But if you do like her and are interested, then make sure you let her know and tell her you'll be in touch.