Valentines Day - When Singles Feel Single

I have a problem with Valentine's day, not a big problem but a questioning one. February 14 is of course the day when large sections of the globe celebrate all things love and romance. They plunder stores and boutiques in search of generally overpriced trinkets and flowers for their special others to say I love you. That's fantastic and I wouldn't have anything to say about that. My problem lays in four separate things that go along with it though.

First is the fact that Valentine's day is a purely commercial venture, it is not based on any patron saint, feast day, religious or pagan festival or other lunar calendar event. No, it is perpetuated simply to fill the gap between Christmas and Easter. Let us be honest, with out it, card manufacturers and red rose sellers may be in serious trouble. That is not to say it is not a worthy day but bear in mind some ruthless organizations want you to spend lots of your money for their own benefit. Today is in fact Valentines day and I have just performed a check, a dozen red roses in my local florist has gone up from $15 to $75. Tomorrow they will be $15 again.

Along with this issue is the associated one of standards. It appears in recent years that 14 February is also associated with all things tacky. Remember well that Valentine cards from the Victorian era were carefully hand crafted love tokens between loving couples, now hugely collectable. Not $6 sparkling plaster cast Goblins with Love hearts. If only the quality of Valentine goods was in keeping with the thoughts behind the day. A friend told me lately that Valentines day is supposed to be tacky. I choose to believe that is an excuse, not an explanation.

My second issue with Valentine's day is simply that it forces those who for 364 days a year have not one ounce of romance in their blood, to confront the tender side of their character. Now one can argue that this is a good thing and to a certain extent I agree. Well except that there is no originality shown. Your average mall or high street will be full of middle aged men in underwear shops guessing the size of the woman they share their bed with every night whilst florists cash in at triple the regular rate for two dozen red roses gift wrapped in advance. Packaged romance in fact. Chocolate shops have gifts pre-wrapped weeks in advance whilst restaurants double their prices for champagne in gleeful anticipation. Hmmm.

My third issue with all things Valentine is that it exploits darkly the isolation of being single. Nothing is more humiliating than not receiving a card. For 364 days a tear it wouldn't matter, but there are few out there who don't note that this year they received - zero cards. And to make it worse, one's friends will ask you in passing how many you received. If you are a good liar you will say one or two, if you are an even better liar you will say none and pretend not to care. But you do. You do because it is the one day when officially you are reminded you are not with anyone.

Valentine's day is a strange day because it has a license to invoke envy, desire and also sadness and regret. Not positive but negative feelings for many. This day has the same affect as couple-only resorts, couple-only campsites and couple-only sports. Nothing polarizes, divides and separates like 14 February. Now I can almost here you stating that I am being too negative but there are millions of single people out here and few would seriously say that they enjoy Valentine's day on their own.

My fourth and final worry about our favorite romantic day is the display of wealth and obligation it provokes. Couples hopelessly in love demonstrate not only how important this day truly is to those of us missing out, but they also demonstrate its importance by the gifts they buy for their better halves. From the richness of exotic scents to the inspiration of expensive jewelry. However much we hate to watch it, we also wonder if in some strange way, we are really missing out. After all, most people are attached aren't they? We don't have anyone to send a card to, or buy a gift for or book a restaurant with, so maybe we are better off pretending it doesn't exist.

But however much we agree with the sentiments proposed above. However much we know how much the Valentine's industry takes us for a ride and however much we loathe those who ram our singleness down our throats, the fact is, if someone sent us a red sparkling chocolate box in the shape of a heart, we would be over the moon in an instant.