Grocery Shopping for One: Single Servings Solo

In a moment of revelation, the writer of the movie Fight Club encapsulated our entire modern psyche with the single phrase "single-sachet generation". In using that phrase whilst Edward Norton sits next to Brad Pitt on a plane - he tied up all the lose ends of who we are at the present time. We are a society of lonely single people. We often work alone on our offices or at our workstations. We chat via email and text messages than by phone or face-to-face. We eat single portions of everything as we work or travel, perfectly weighed and measured and wrapped for us in advance and all because we have stopped knowing how to socialize with each other. Personal communication has gone out of the window and has been replaced by anonymity.

For single people single shopping has to be one of the most soul-destroying tasks we perform. Everything these days is packaged to remind us how alone and solitary life can be. A table for one madam? First of all, what is the point of shopping at all just for ourselves when we could just grab stuff from the local store every time we feel hungry. Our refrigerators are half empty or have food going to waste, we become lazy with cooking, our diet suffers, we gain weight from convenience food and we don't really find any enjoyment from shopping alone.

Going to the supermarket as a single person is daunting. Most food is packaged in too large a portion so we have to freeze things or throw the leftovers away. Many packets will last me a lifetime. What am I going to do with a three kilo bag of rice. It will take me months or years to get through that. I want ONE potato, not a bag. I want one Onion not a bag. Okay so what happens next, the supermarket chains invent food-for-one. The issue with this is that it is convenient, true, but it is over priced and for a man it is never enough. It may be appealing to have chicken Tikka Masala for one in 10 minutes in the microwave in front of the 7pm news bulletin but hey, its soulless. Even worse, you know that as soon as you pick up boxes of single food everyone in the supermarket knows you are SINGLE. They may as well have a tannoy announcement. "The woman in the blue skirt in aisle three with the pasta-for-one has recently separated". We hate it don't we.

Okay so you load your basket with meals for one and are heading for the checkout with three hundred people aware of your domestic situation when you discover to your horror that you have an admirer by the carrots. No it is not the shelf stacker or cleaner, it is another single person who has come to pounce on you because ITS SINGLES NIGHT!!! Who on earth invented that run as fast as you can! Now I know that people may meet over the mixed vegetables every evening but not in my lifetime. I do not want to tell my grandkids that I met Cathy over a tin of soup and a six pack of tuna steaks. I want some romance in my life.

I remember one incident in a supermarket where I had spotted some delicious Blueberry Jam and had added wisely it to my basket. For the next few minutes I was aware that I was being watched and feeling like I was being thought of as a shop thief I headed straight for the checkout. The man followed me and as I paid for my goods, he quizzed me at great length about how much I liked Blueberry Jam. I was completely bemused and made my excuses and left. A few weeks later I read an article where on singles nights in supermarkets different items can display different things about you and currently Blueberry jam was being used by gay men in that city to demonstrate their sexual proclivities. Now I have to say that things had gone far enough! I may be single but please let me buy preserves in peace!

Okay so you load up your basket of single-sachets and you head for the checkout where you have then got to negotiate both loading and unloading simultaneously. So you load the conveyor belt as fast as you can and meantime the over zealous assistant is piling your goods through to the other end faster than you can unload your basket. She is finished before you and is twiddling her thumbs and looking deliberately bored as you need to rush through and repack all your groceries into bags as fast as lightening because the couples standing in the queue behind are sighing due to your slowness and ineptitude. Sounds familiar?

Yes shopping is a pastime for two. Shopping for two also takes ages. It takes you ages to pack your bags, carry them all to the car, load them into the trunk and then unloading at home is a complete nightmare. Since when can you pick up 9 bags at once and get them into the house safely whilst worrying about your car door left open. And finally when you have everything home, you cheer yourself up by eating all the best stuff first and then having to make do with sensible meals for one for the rest of the week. The only trouble is that you have put on weight too and are liable to stay single longer. Being single means there is no eating-conscience telling you you are not having that 1000 calorie donut-fest.

Couples eat more healthily in general so it appears. Meals are prepared together with thought and there is some aspect to social coupling in preparing in the kitchen. You are not going to be able to repeat the refrigerator scene from 9 and a half weeks so food is not sexy when you are single. Don't you hate the smug cookery TV shows  that demonstrate what you could cook if you weren't single? Ha ha, I am kidding. I know food is a great demonstration in creativity and I find it very enjoyable and I love those shows. Buy I wanted to use this opportunity of stating how damn awful it is to be single and face being reminded of the fact every time I go to the store.

The fact that the supermarket industry has started to cater for single people is a warning if anything because it means that their investigations reveal that the singles market is ever expanding. Large food manufacturers don't go for short-term fads. When 30% of adults are single the food industry sits up and takes note. So although there are lots of suitable nicely packaged meals for one for us to consume do we really want reminding of the fact. I for one resent paying extra because I am alone and displaying the fact in my basket.

And don't get me started on dining alone. We will be here all day ha ha.